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Talk less listen more when you’re

engaged in a conversation with someone

are you really listening putting

yourself in their place trying to

understand them or like most of us are

you pretending to do that pretending to

listen nodding making eye contact but in

your mind you’re already formulating

your response and you know what this

doesn’t come from a bad place

we are fixers as human beings we’re

helpers we want to jump in so we listen

to just enough so that we can say oh I

know how to solve that oh I know what to

do well let me tell you when I was in

that situation what happened to me that

may be useful at some other point but

right now at the beginning people just

need to feel understood I was

interviewed early this morning and

people were talking about how you

resolve in leadership roles how do you

resolve conflict between people well

every situation is different but the

first thing you need to do is step back

and understand each other and we’re so

worried to do that because if I take

time to understand you you might think

I’m agreeing with you no they won’t

you’re not agreeing or disagreeing

you’re just taking time to understand

them how do you do as you hold up the

mirror here and really focusing on

talking less and listening to understand