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Talk less listen more when you’re
engaged in a conversation with someone
are you really listening putting
yourself in their place trying to
understand them or like most of us are
you pretending to do that pretending to
listen nodding making eye contact but in
your mind you’re already formulating
your response and you know what this
doesn’t come from a bad place
we are fixers as human beings we’re
helpers we want to jump in so we listen
to just enough so that we can say oh I
know how to solve that oh I know what to
do well let me tell you when I was in
that situation what happened to me that
may be useful at some other point but
right now at the beginning people just
need to feel understood I was
interviewed early this morning and
people were talking about how you
resolve in leadership roles how do you
resolve conflict between people well
every situation is different but the
first thing you need to do is step back
and understand each other and we’re so
worried to do that because if I take
time to understand you you might think
I’m agreeing with you no they won’t
you’re not agreeing or disagreeing
you’re just taking time to understand
them how do you do as you hold up the
mirror here and really focusing on
talking less and listening to understand
more.